As my visit home comes to a close I’m not sure how to feel.
I really hate the actual process of changing locations, I get so confused to
what my current reality is. When I’m in America I go into (for lack of better
words) an American state of mine. I really can’t connect mentally with my life
in Korea, and of course it is the same for when I’m in Korea. I know in a few
days I won’t be able to comprehend living in America anymore. Maybe that’s why
I don’t get homesick, I am detached from the previous location physically and
mentally so I can’t feel sad for my loss. Hmmm…
Anyways my trip home was not nearly long enough yet I definitely
made use of the time I had. Vegas with the daddies! Visited old friends (and
made some new ones) in Santa Barbara, my old college town. [There I also had
lunch with my (ex?) co-blogger David. I don’t know if he’s going to post again
but he’s moved back to America for good, I am very sad to see him go!] Reconnected
with my hometown homies, went on a family trip to Jawbone Desert, and ate my
way through everyone’s mother’s cooking (and any other food I can’t get in
Korea) I could get my hands on (gained 5lbs lol).
I am thankful for these people in my life and am truly disappointed
I didn’t get to see all of them due to lack of time. Two weeks is not nearly enough
time to really get a feel for being back. For the people I did get to see it
was awesome to be reminded that no matter how long I leave for I can always go
back and have the same friendships I had before. I don’t like emotions and I
try very hard not to deal with them but at the airport the four of my parents
came to see me off (my dads flew in from vegas just to see me for an hour) and
I cried. I will not go back to my hometown for at least a year and the home I
know and love will be different. Friends will move, my parents are talking of
selling the house, life will go on without me per usual. Yet, as this happens
so will my life. I mean let’s face it, I live an adventure usually reserved for
books and movies and I’m not about to stop anytime soon.
So I take the good with the bad, the love with the loss, the
loneliness with the excitement and keep on dancing forward.
Next week, Japan!
PS If you live in Korea I’m looking for a new co-blogger. If
interested please email me at ashleyrguerrero@gmail.com
PPS On the second plane to Seoul now and I’ve had two really
cool seat buddies on this trip. The first was a young college student who is
studying abroad in Beijing and was great to talk to. The second is an older
Chinese-Korean woman who speaks no English and very little Korean. Despite that
I taught her how to knit a stripped beanie while she taught me how to knit
properly. She also gave me candy and I helped her fill out immigration paper
work. *sigh* I live for these types of interactions <3
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