Overseas dad

After a few months in Korea, I saw
something I hadn't expected to see: snow!

I've been in Korea for more than two years. I like to return to Canada to visit my daughters. It's been years now that their mom and I found out we were friends. Since I moved away, Sunny's been really dedicated to making sure that we can vid-chat as much as possible. Besides finishing her post-secondary studies and working part time, she's gotten the job of her dreams. I'm very happy for her.

When I first came to Korea, I didn't get to talk with the girls as much as I would have liked to because I didn't have a computer for the first month. I decided to leave it with Sunny because she didn't have one at the time. My computer time was most often spent at PC bangs, which is konglish for internet cafe. I was really focused on earning a living here so I could send home child support, so at $1 per hour including all-you-can drink cheap coffee in paper cups, the PC bang became my new favorite hideout. In most PC bangs, smoking is allowed. It's a wonder those kids don't get lung cancer. No wonder my coworkers discourage children from going to the PC bang!

Just goofing around with the girls

In the beginning, I worked at a private school. My bosses loved the fact that I was an overseas dad. I couldn't go out much because I didn't really have any money, and that was good for the reputation of the school. Also, they were parents of a son who lived in the USA, so we talked about being apart from our children. My bosses were the nicest people on the planet for the time I was there. One time when I was sick, my boss brought me into the Korean staff kitchen and gave me bowl after bowl of juk, a kind of chicken soup/porridge. Apparently it's good for staving away colds.

My coworker, Mrs. Shin with her
daughter and niece. Peace!

Since I started working at a public school, I have had plenty of time to log on and talk to the girls. Back home, jobs were terrible and I would not be able to support my family the way I can now. Now I can put them through gymnastics, violin lessons, and help pay for birthday parties-- and of course, send lots of presents.

People always ask: Don't you miss them? Shouldn't you be there with them? Of course I miss them. But since I've been here, I've met so many dads in the same position. Their local economy collapsed, they were out of work, and there were two options: stick around and go slowly into debt while you can't provide for your kids, or pick up, move and hope for the best.

To overseas dads, or anyone who can relate to how it feels to move away from your family, keep one thing in mind: Consistency is key. When you move away, the connections that last are the ones that you actively pursue above everything. And when you move home, don't forget the new friends you valued abroad!