Every year, approximately 190,000 people are diagnosed with cancer in Korea while 72,000 die of it. Cancer became the first leading cause of death in Korea in 1983. Cancer mortality has been steadily increasing over the last two decades and cancer deaths accounted for 28.2% of all deaths in 2010, which means that one in every four Koreans becomes a victim of this life-threatening disease. --National Cancer Center of Korea
Last night I was again a willing victim of Korean kindness. It was a retirement/moving to another school party for a few teachers who I have taught with over the last couple of years and I will dearly miss. We all went out for hoe, which is an expensive and delicious meal of fresh raw fish served with spicy fish soup, seaweed and rice. After that we went to a coffee shop where we drank lattes and chatted. I came home, had a short online conversation and went to sleep. When I awoke, I went online where a friend had referred a video:
At Jangsu with my Korean family.
Minjae is the one in red.
After watching this, I thought about my grandfather, who died of prostate cancer. I thought about my mom, who is living with breast cancer. Mostly, I was thinking about my Korean emo, Sophia. She is also a cancer survivor and a single mom. I remember going camping in Jangsu with my Korean family. She stayed inside, but from her glowed a radiant and compassionate energy. I saw her as a being of light, and despite the linguistic barrier, our thoughts and feelings came through clearly. She loves her only son, Minjae, very much. Often Nunim and Koon Hyeung, their love limitless, will take him out with their children. Most recently I saw him having a great time, skiing down the slopes at High1 Ski Resort in Gangwondo.
Then I read some of the comments. I froze when I read these statements:
Jacob: We need cancer's,.....till we change our immigration policies,...we need to have
death,..population control people,..I don't wish to be China.
Judy:I believe they have it. Have to cut the population down
some how. Can you think of a better way??????????/?/?
I couldn't believe what I was reading. Images flashed through my mind, images of my grandfather, rail thin and so pale you could see his veins through his skin. Images of my mother crying herself to sleep as she anticipated death. Images of Minjae being taken away to an orphanage as emo spent her last days tortured by the knowledge that her son will never have the same chances as the other kids at school. I left a comment on the thread ripping Jacob and Judy apart for their inhumanity. The images didn't stop. I looked at my watch and saw that I had less than hour until I had to be at work. I had to pull it together, but all I wanted to do was spew fire at the world. On my walk to work I imagined myself battling these detached voices. I wanted so badly to go back to the way I used to be, not feeling or caring, letting things just drip off me like water. Instead, the ignorance I had witnessed left acid burns in my mind.
My grandfather
in his navy days.
I close my eyes and all I see are the people I love dying in hospital beds while someone in another part of the world checks his account balance. The rage I feel is consuming me and I just want it to stop. But maybe it doesn't need to. What if the situation we're in comes from our lack of empathy? What if Jacob and Judy's joke is evidence that they have no empathy in this situation? Maybe I need to feel these powerful emotions, but I just need to learn how to control them. Maybe writing this article is a good first step.
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